Running through the tears.

On Saturday, my mom told me that she had been diagnosed with melanoma. Skin cancer has always been a fear of mine, lingering beneath the surface, because I am a redhead with very fair skin and I just have always thought if I was going to get cancer, that would be the kind I would get. I've had two moles removed, both benign. But I never, ever imagined my mom getting skin cancer. I can't even recall her with a sunburn.

We have yet to find out its severity, although the doctor told her the mole was superficial and said not to worry. My mom is meeting with a surgeon on Thursday to plan a procedure to remove more tissue. All I can do is pray. I love my mom so much.

To say I am hurting would be an understatement. Since finding out on Saturday, I have cried every day, multiple times a day.

I have run twice since finding out, one 10-miler with my husband and one 5K by myself. Running and crying don't mix - you can't really breathe very well. So I have to make myself stop crying when I am running.

Running really is therapeutic - you can't control life and what happens, but you can control putting one foot in front of the other. Breathe in, breathe out.

 I'm so grateful for my husband, who's been wonderful to me these past few days, holding me, trying to make me laugh, buying me ice cream.

I have three races scheduled for this month, and training for them, making goals for them, will help. The worst thing I could do would be to sit at home,depressed, night after night, and relinquish my goals. That is what I have felt like doing, in my fear and sadness. But I won't give in to it. Here's to me becoming stronger, and to my mom, who is my hero. Here's to her getting better, as soon as possible.